Singleness: The Problem? ~ Marriage: The Answer?

1 Corinthians 7:17 "And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches." (The Message Bible)

#singleproblems 
#foreverlonely 
#justnotgonnacareanymore 
#[insertnegativity] 
#[insertfeelings] 

#[insertbitterstatement] 

I want to shed light on some confusion. There is a misconception regarding relationships & singleness. Whether you are in a relationship, engaged, or [from what I hear & believe] married, this does not mean that your life will be perfect. Reality is, you will still have things come up, hardships to experience, insecurities to be dealt with, more flaws to be uncovered, a great deal of lessons to be learned, and a void to still be filled. Envying what others have will not change your current situation, whether you are single or in a relationship. At what point in your life do you expect to be happy? The truth is, God is looking for you to find contentment in whichever season you are placed in. Now don't get this confused, I am not saying that it is not a blessing to find your soulmate; the one God has created for you. On the other hand, I am expressing to you that there actually is a blessing & good to be found in your singleness also. Having a Mr. or Mrs. Is NOT the answer to your problems. A relationship/marriage will not cure issues that you are dealing with in your singleness. Rest. Enjoy your singleness. And if you are in a monogamous, God-ordained relationship it is time to stop comparing your significant other to who you see on TV, your friends who are in a relationship, etc. Die to those fleshy desires to replicate what others have. We don’t realize, while we are comparing and envying others, those same ones are probably wanting what you have too. My reason for saying this is showing how often we tend to covet others’ things, relationships, etc rather than being fully content with what we have.

In whichever season you are in, remember to keep Christ as your foundation & center. And if you have been hurt from a past relationship, seek God in order to experience LOVE. So often we tend to bash love and question the meaning of it. I speak on this so freely, because I was one of those people. At this point, if you find yourself cursing love or bashing the opposite sex, these negative feelings come from a real place but should not dictate your life or perspective on love. I strongly suggest that at this hurtful time in your life it will take you to come to God and surrender your whole heart to him. That broken heart can be healed, renewed, & restored. It will not be healed by posting statuses about how happy you are to be single, and how stupid men are. Subtweeting and posting on IG just to send a "message" to that person is not going to help either. It takes more than that. Actually it takes you to change your whole perspective, which is made easier and through truth by seeking God. A change in your perspective creates a change in your situation, because you will then know how to control those negative feelings that will still rise up. And posting is not the way to do it :)

There is hope. Stay focused. Ladies & Fellas, you will not have to literally chase the one you are “meant-to-be-with.” You do not need the approval or acceptance of a person...With or without a significant other, you are wanted. God wants you; a personal relationship with you. 

[Sidebar: I am not saying that it will be perfectly easy to build that strong foundation in a new relationship. In fact, I am sure that you will have to go through some things in order to begin building a friendship that transforms into a relationship with the opposite sex if any of you two have been hurt in a previous relationship. On the other hand, what I am saying is that I am sure you know when that person is just not interested. Do not cause yourself pain by seeking wholeness from another human being-and especially not seeking to be accepted & loved by someone who is not interested.. God is the only one who can make you whole. Find peace in knowing that, if you are going after someone who does not show interest, God is protecting you from something. He knows best.]

If you have the desire to be married one day, God placed that desire on your heart for a reason. That does not mean that you cannot be fully content in your time of singleness. And you do not have to play a waiting game, because eventually you will get tired of waiting on God and decide to handle it yourself. God is not looking for you to focus on that woman or man who you are hoping for, while forgetting about the one who created him/her-HIM. Be hopeful in this time, not doubtful. But be content and positive even when things do not go the way you expect. Let's stop chasing the things and the people, missing the one who created all of the things and the people. Trust God with your past, present, & future, focusing on your NOW & all that is involved in it; letting go of the burden/worries of your past & future. 

Be blessed. xo